While the Ayahuasca/DMT experience is ultimately non-transferable, here is my humble attempt to share a rough timeline and highlights from “ceremony #1”, which turned out to be “the good trip”…
Note: Pay special attention to the indented bullets below
- Tuesday June 21… Summer Solstice and full Moon.
- 5:00 pm. Pouring rain. Bucket Ceremony. Intentions tossed into bucket… leaves and flowers… Verbalized to myself three intentions: Creativity, Discipline, and Courage. (all three for personal reasons that I choose to keep private for now)
- Rose water added, bucket shower outside… in the rain.
- 5:30-7:30 pm. Two plus hours of quiet time alone in my private room to reflect on my intentions.
- Dark outside (sunset ~6:00 pm)
- 7:30 pm. Rain pattering on metal roof. Ceremony begins… six mats, blankets, and buckets. Candles. Music.
- Participant #1 invited to drink. More ceremony.
- Participant #2 drinks. Ditto.
- Participant #3 drinks. Ditto.
- My turn. Double size shot glass. Down the hatch… quite unpleasant… like Jagermeister mixed with an equal of volume of cigarette ashes.
- Return to mat, sit and wait…
- 8:10 pm. First of three purges. Mini-vomit of black liquid preceded by the usual symptoms of flushing and mouth-watering… no other effects.
- Candles blown out, almost total darkness.
- 8:15pm. Offered, and accepted, optional second half dose.
- 8:20 pm. Curandero strikes the gong… and POW!! Nothing subtle when the DMT “hit”… felt like my body vaporized and my consciousness was catapulted through a worm hole at the speed of light.
- Gong sounded like it was INSIDE my head as if my skull was hollow and moved around… could pinpoint the source within millimeters. I would go so far to say I could see the sound!
- Eyes closed… small p psychedelic visuals… red, green, blue kaleidoscope… paisley-like patterns…occasional short bursts of yellows and whites..
- Purple patterns grew when I paid attention to them. Sometimes went somewhere interesting.
- 10:00 pm. Second Purge… able to get myself to bathroom… vomiting and explosive diarrhea… six times… butt on toilet, head in sink.
- Feeling better, return to common space.
- Awesome accompanying music: Icaros… Andres Cordoba – TaMa – Cura Sana
- Occasional gong, voice of Curandero, drum, guitar, both live and recorded… absolutely exquisite sounds.
- One of the ladies freaks out. Other lady sobs incessantly.
- Snakes, insects on periphery of vision, but did not feel scary in the least. Oh, there a snake, there’s a scorpion. In fact, I recall thinking: “Oh, that’s what one is supposed to see while tripping!” as if it was no big deal.
- Eyes open visuals of room nominally normal, although slow and vibrating… figures on wall sparring with each other.
- Feelings of floating in space, weightlessness.
- Somewhere along the way, in the midst of the audio and visual hallucinations, I experienced some profound realizations/insights (these words are so inadequate):
- Filled with a deep sense of compassion for all people… the profound sense that we are all damaged children… ALL of us.
- A particularly deep feeling of affection for someone I had been estranged from.
- Deeply moved by a vivid image (an answer to my “courage” intention in the face of chronic health concern, I suspect): Imagine a bird’s eye view of an ancient pueblo ruin… remnants of the walls separating a dozen adjoining rooms… one bad black room to the left stands out, but there are eleven normal rooms. Accompanied by two consuming affirmations: 1) Do not let the black room destroy the joy to be found in the eleven good rooms. 2) Do not let the ever-present threat of death win by scaring me into not living. It was so clear and deep… clearer and deeper than a mere thought… more than symbolic… so deeply understood that it reprogrammed my mind instantly and permanently… instilling a complete loss of anxiety that endures to this day.
- Needed to stay perfectly still for maximum effect… any motion would interrupt the flow.
- Able to turn the experience on and off by moving my body and opening my eyes, but unable to steer.
- Able to “apply the brakes” so to speak simple by moving a single finger.
- Interesting sounds are powerful and essential triggers for maximizing the psychedelic effects… background of a giant gong, interesting vocalizations by the curandero, and the very organic-sounding indigenous music where both enjoyable and provocative.
- General sense of timelessness, but also of time distortion… I KNOW it was long by how much music was played, but the whole experience felt much shorter in duration.
- 11:00 pm. Peak mellowed out and I was able to relax into a semi-conscious state… “woken up” by the Curandera and invited to enjoy a campfire outside.
- Gentle feelings of coming back down. Mixed feelings of wanting it to continue, but also a sense of relief that I survived the trip, and of satisfaction that I had such an experience.
- Awesome fire, full moon directly overhead, with multiple rings, perfect soft breeze, lights of villagers down below… feelings of absolute tranquility, peace, contentment. EVERYTHING felt beautiful beyond beauty.
- Midnight… nausea returns… third purge… vomited once outside, then feeling exhausted… returned to my room… stumbling in a very drunken way… defecated some more.
- Presence of mind to send “I’m okay” texts to my safety contacts, but very difficult because I could not see the phone clearly and my vision was shaky.
- 1:00 feeling totally exhausted… and still quite nauseous, on verge of vomiting again… a few passing visual hallucinations.
- 1:30 Fell asleep.
- 5:30 am, awoke, feeling lots better but still a bit queasy… drank some water, then just laid in bed until around 10:00am… everyone else still crashed.
- One of the ladies was still tripping in the room next to mine, calling out and a bit freaked out. I knocked on her door, she invited me in, I gave her a long hug. She said “I love you.” As she held on to me. Nothing sexual about it.
- Day after: Still feeling icky… akin to a mild hangover… ate a little bit for breakfast… egg, rice, beans, fruit.
- Drank lots of water.
- “Hangover” gone by mid-afternoon.
Continue… Ayahuasca: “Trip” Report, Part 5
