Frank’s Cancer Story: For Family and Friends…

---

Table of Contents

---

The Elephant in the Room

Please know that it’s perfectly okay to talk about cancer around me…

And it’s also perfectly okay to say the word “cancer” around me.

The sound of… and topic of… “the c-word” causes me no distress at all… as I processed the emotional gut punch and harsh realities that come with an advanced cancer diagnosis a long time ago.

Please know that it’s okay for you to ask me: “Frank, I don’t want to invade your privacy or anything, but I heard through the grapevine that you have cancer. So, how are you doing, man?”

In fact, broaching the subject is more than okay; it’s quite welcome… for at least three huge reasons:

First, such an overture alleviates any worries I have about being a downer or burden on anyone.

Second, your willingness to engage with such a heavy subject opens a door that allows me to be comfortable sharing what’s really going on with me.

And third, and most important, such reaching out is a powerful medicine for the utter isolation and loneliness of it all.

back to… Table of Contents

---

Seclusion

Over my fifteen years and counting of living with cancer, I’ve gone into seclusion a hundred times… for all kinds of reasons:

To retreat to my man cave in order to relax and recharge… typically immersing myself in reading, writing, or music… or binge watching some classic movies.

To conserve my limited energy for the medical stuff I’m enduring or about to endure.

To prep for or rest, recover, and heal from a treatment or surgery.

To escape the exhaustion and isolation of putting on a face for people… of pretending to be okay when I’m not.

To protect my possibly compromised immune system from ignorant, arrogant, inconsiderate anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers.

To hide myself because a highly visible wound might make me scary to children.

To avoid superficial social occasions. (Call me a snob if you will, but I have no time and energy to waste on small talk, petty complaints, uninformed opinions, or idle chit chat about vulgar topics like money, sports, or the latest celebrity gossip.)

To get my affairs in order.

When I go into seclusion, I know that my silence may appear quite anti-social. But I assure you I’m not ghosting you. I’m just taking care of myself… and being protective—sometimes savagely protective—of my very limited and infinitely precious time and energy.

back to… Table of Contents

---

Topic TBD

hopefully coming mid May 2026

back to… Table of Contents

---

Frank’s Cancer Story continued… Coping with Cancer